The Pain (and Beauty) of The Unknown

Finding an apartment in New York City can be tough work. Nothing you’ve ever experienced can prepare you for the trials and tribulations of NYC apartment hunting. It’s quite simply a different world.

Consider our perspective. As homeowners who had been through the arduous process of finding and buying an actual home less than 2 years ago, Tracy and I felt comfortable that we could figure out all that the Big Apple had to offer. We were far from cocky, but we had put in the wor - Tracy with her many hours of late night searching through various Craigslist and brokerage postings, getting a feel for the market. We were even certain that we could sift through the inevitable crap that some of our less ethical brethren try to portray as reality on the Web.

We were, as luck would have it, very wrong.

It took about 10 hours on Thursday to figure it out. Perhaps we could have figured it out about 10am if we weren’t quite so naïve. It was then that we set foot in an apartment we had seen online – in a great location with a seemingly nice layout. Within two minutes of seeing the place it was clear that online looks can be deceiving, and that we had our work cut out for us if we were going to find a place in less than three days.

Undeterred, we put feet firmly on pavement and walked miles upon miles around “the greatest city in the world.” While the majority of the people we met were nice, it was a completely frustrating process. By late afternoon on Day 1 we were (at least in some way) ready to admit defeat.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m not proud to say it. But the day had punished us pretty well. And we were falling victim to the terrible predator known as The Unknown. It’s a terrible one, this Unknown, constantly gnawing at your every thought and telling you how things can never work out. Even the most sane and logical among us will fall victim from time to time. Before you know it, there’s a sinking feeling in your stomach, no sense of confidence and a generally poor outlook on life.

With The Unknown, every facet of life is hyper-sensitized. Get cut off walking to the subway? These people are animals. Check the price of cereal at the supermarket ($6 by the way)? How can anyone survive!

That’s what The Unknown will do to you. It’s a gnarly beast, but best handled by remembering past encounters. Luckily, Tracy and I had battled this monster before on many occasions, but none in more similar fashion than when at orientation for Carolina. In much the same way, we were facing the idea of leaving comfort and security of the known for that most awful of destinations, The Unknown.

The most awful and most amazing all in one.

Yet in the moment it’s so hard to see. That’s why Friday afternoon, after another 8 hours of unfulfilling searching, we were once again caught up in the momentary malaise of the narrow view.

And then things changed.

We had an appointment at 5 pm to meet with Meg. She was a broker, a apartment finding mercenary in our minds, and the physical representation the fact that our pride was officially shattered. No sum of money could be too much, we thought, as long as we could a suitable place to live.

Meg was everything we hoped she would be – and more. Within three hours The Unknown was but a shadow of a memory which had long since passed. Sure, there would be more hurdles to scale and obstacles to overcome. But with a few visits to some lovely apartments, our overall mood switched 180 degrees. Before you knew it, we were putting in an application for an apartment in New York City. What a glorious feeling! To walk the streets with head held high among The Known!

Yes, every once in a while, we’ll be reminded that the deal is not yet done and the matter of formal approval by the landlord is still to come. But the point of the story is that regardless of whether or not the apartment comes as planned (and we very much hope it does), this was such an important exercise in trust and faith. The Unknown may rear an ugly head and cause some general discomfort in the stomach region. But it’s precisely the thing that attracted us to a move in the first place. Dealing with these feelings this weekend has opened us up to a new set of experiences and understanding of ourselves that we had never seen or felt before - in much the same way that CTOPS did before we went to UNC. I have no doubt that there will be plenty of bumps along the way once we move, but at least I can take this experience along with me the next time I’m staring at my world in disarray.

And that’s the beauty of The Unknown.